BULLY PROOF YOUR CHILD
One of the hardest things to see in our kids is others picking on them and being subjected to bullying. So what can we do to help build our children up to stop these targeted incidents and help our kids face up and become strong.
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Endurance Taekwondo is all about building better people - through our Taekwondo and Martial Arts training, kids will become more confident in being able to defend themselves physically that they will not need to do this unless it is a last resort. The physical aspect of bullying generally come after verbal abuse, name calling and such before it then may lead into a physical confrontation.
Our philosophy is to stand up to these bullies straight away and to defuse the situation before it escalates over a period of time.
Here are a few ways to approach bullies -
Rule #1
Understand the bullies motive...
Bullies will have a motive for acting the way they do. Unfortunately it often means that they don't feel very good about themselves. Something has triggered the way they feel, whether it is something not making them happy at home or elsewhere in their life and often their way of coping with this is to make others feel bad. If they feel there are people out there worse off than themselves, then they feel better. So to put it in perspective - It's Not You, It's Them that is the issue. Whatever they say and do is only to make you feel worse than they feel but they can't seem to fix the problem or channel their frustrations anywhere else.
Rule #2
Don't Be the Victim
Bullies will target people they see as weak therefore if you appear weak, you maybe targeted. You are the only You there will be! Therefore be proud of who you are and don't feel bad that you are different as being different is a good thing. Bullies pick on people they do not know well and therefore see your differences as areas to target.
If you take what they say to heart, you will be a victim so try and let it just wash over you. Refer to Rule #1 and when you understand why they are doing it and that what they say doesn't actually reflect on who you are, then you can be confident in yourself and not let it bother you. Hold your head high and be proud to be YOU!
Rule #3
Turn Their Comments Against Them
When you are being verbally abused by a bully it is important to remember that you want to defuse the situation, not fuel it. In other words, don't play their game. Be smart with your reactions and response as if they don't get the rise out of you are are looking for, they will get bored and eventual lose interest.
Lets look at an example of what NOT to do...
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Bully "I hate your T-Shirt, did your Mum dress you today?"
Child "Your T-Shirt is bad too"
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If you act as they act it will fuel the abuse on further as they may start to get angry with you. Lets look at a better way to handle this...
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Bully "I hate your T-Shirt, did your Mum dress you today?"
Child "I know what you mean, it certainly isn't my favorite T-Shirt, but if my Mum had of dressed me it could have gotten a lot worse! Yours is kinda cool though, you have great taste"
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So you are turning their comments away from being hurtful and turning them into a little humor and also complimenting them. If you compliment someone, it is hard to keep being hurtful back.
Lets look at another example...
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Bully "Why are you so stupid?"
Child "I certainly have my moments! I don't know how you remember so much, must be a good skill to have."
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Keep your answers simple so you can finish what you have to say and then walk away to create distance between you and to limit another round of abuse.
Rule #4
Build Confidence in Yourself
The last thing we want to do is get involved in a physical confrontation so we will do everything we can to avoid this. By following the rules we have mentioned above, hopefully this will stop any further progression.
It is important to remember that you need to tell someone about any bullying that is happening as even if you defuse it for yourself, it is likely that the bully may then target someone else who might not be able to handle it as well. Teachers and parents should be told about any issues you are seeing or facing.
As much as we don't want physical conflict, you can build confidence through knowing and understanding what to do and what signs to read if faced with this. Through learning Self Defence and understanding what can be done, you are building confidence to know that you can handle yourself if anything happens. Through this confidence, you can show the bully that you are not someone who is their victim and that it really is not in their interest to test your skills.
Knowledge is King!
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For more details on our Bully Proofing program, book in for a Trial class and start arming yourself with confidence to handle yourself in any situation.
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